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Simsala`s Abracadabra

Reader of m/m fiction and romance, coffee addict, worst reviewer ever,

Out to Protect - Amber Skyze 1,5 stars
The half star is for the entertaining value...

This book has what it takes to become iconic, IMO. Minus the sex scenes - they were technically correct but watching the wool-cycle of a waching machine is more exciting...

I can`t recall what triggered one of my worst laughing fits in ages.
(Several hours later now and it`s still not over...Jesus!)
I would say it was the sum of idiocies - the story and its characters were so indescribably silly....

The basics;
Two newly partnered detectives - both gay, one freshly outed the other deep in the closet - chasing a serial killer who kills female prostitutes - later switching to male prostitutes - by injecting antifreeze.

The POV:
First person from both MCs - switching from chapter to chapter - who tended to talk about themselves in third person...ow!

The `mystery`:
A killer-chase based on assumptions alone. No police procedure and the investigation was done with talking to residents near the place where the corpses were dumped and scaring a young mother of the big bad wolf to get information (she wasn`t mentioned again).

What comes next might be a bit jumbled but the story was too so please bear with me.

The idiocies:
To get it out of the way - NOTHING in this book made sense.
Grant and Parker contradicted themselves so often it made my head spin.
Grant was coming out to his partner of several years, Ralph - an extreme homophobe - and his other colleagues. It didn`t work well.
A few pages later this here...
"Grant knew better than to press the issue, but he wanted make Parker see that hiding behind his sexuality was a mistake. He refused to push him into a decision he wasn’t ready to make; Grant only wanted him to see the positive side of coming out.
Um...so far there were no positive sides...

One of my favorite scenes in this book:
Four detectives at a crime scene - standing around a newly discovered naked male corpse. (Of course immediately connected to the serial killer who killed the female prostitutes because of track marks on his arm...)
Grant with his new partner Parker, Ralph - the homophobe - with his new partner Stanley...
“What do we have here?” Parker turned, surprised to see Stanley standing over the dead body. Ralph stood close behind. He could tell by the look on Grant’s face he was shocked too. They both knew the duo was assigned to the investigation as well; Parker just assumed Ralph would keep his distance, given the earlier encounter. “Another vic,” Grant said. Parker watched Grant, his heart going out to the guy. Grant struggled to keep his composure while he continued to check the body. “Parker and I have it. No need for you guys to be here.” “Sorry, Grant. Chief wants us to determine if this is the work of the serial killer.” Stanley nudged the dead guy with his foot. “What’s your thoughts?” “Is he gay?” Ralph asked.
Yeah, right...the corpse is naked, male, of course he`s gay!
And nudging a corpse with the foot....I don`t think so...

Short time later Parker found a business card from a lead detective (the part with the name was torn off of course...) at the crime scene, pocketed it and ran off to the chief who immediately came to the same conclusion as Parker - Ralph is the serial killer! (He isn`t, btw...) Because the other lead detectives are out of the question for being Grant, or female, whatever.
And OF COURSE they knew why the killer - Ralph - switched from female to male prostitutes (that the male corpse is a prostitute was - of course - just an assumption) - because Grant came out to Ralph and Ralph now hated Grant...
This had to be kept under wraps because now Grant is the killers next target....um...why? *scratches head*
Parker was concerned about Grants safety and coaxed him to meet with him at a doggy-park at night - to tell him his suspicions without any witnesses...why?
A simple phone call would have done the trick.
BUT here they kissed the first time - including bolts of fire rushing to groins and twitching penises...unfh!
Then Grant got a phone call from Ralph "You`re next" and from then on lived in heart-thundering fear of being attacked by Ralph...but Parker - formerly taken aback by Grants hot/cold treatment but now falling for him - was determined to protect him from harm.

Sorry, I`m not done...

My second favorite:
"Ralph entered the front door to Grant’s apartment building. “Shit, he’s here to kill me.” Grant parked his car and jumped out to follow Ralph. Once inside the doors he found Ralph waiting for the elevator. “What are you doing here, Ralph?” Grant asked. He didn’t want to take his eyes off Ralph, but he wanted to see if they were in the camera’s view. “We need to talk, Grant.” “Freeze,” Parker said, coming up behind Grant. Grant turned to see Parker standing there with his gun pointed toward Ralph. “What is wrong with you?” Grant asked through clenched teeth. “Is it really necessary to barge in here with your guns blazing?” Parker dropped his gun and apologized. “Sorry.” “Not good, Parker.” The two bickered for a few seconds. Fed up, Grant turned his attention to Ralph. Much to his surprise he was gone. Vanished. Disappeared without a sound. “Just great, Parker. Now he’s gone. Fucking gone.”"

Instead of running after Ralph Grant and Parker hightailed to Parker`s apartment where they spent a night of `passion` and in the morning two more male prostitutes were found dead...oh, the guilt!!*snort*

I`m stopping now or I will never reach the end.
There was a shoot-out finale at the end of the book that had me in tears, a HEA for two detectives who were too stupid to live and fell in love simply because they were both gay. No sparks, no emotions, the silliest mystery ever but I can`t deny I had a great time.


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